March 2024

Dear Blessed One,

In the vast expanse of consciousness, negative self-talk is but a fleeting whisper, obscuring the brilliance of our divine essence. Within us lies the eternal flame of truth waiting to be rekindled. Let's travel together the journey of awakening, guided by the wisdom of the heart which is always available to us.

Begin by simply observing the dance of thoughts as they arise, without entangling yourself in their drama. Recognize that you are the silent witness, untouched by the transient stories unfolding within the mind. Notice that you have the choice to either follow or not follow the incessant demands of the mind.

I recently had an opportunity to practice this as I experienced a dangerous and expensive lesson.

Forgive the long-winded story...

After being on the road for months and working in the San Diego area, my last event wrapped up on a Sunday at 6p. Exhausted, I hurriedly packed and was on my way at 8:30p to a rest stop just north of LA, before continuing my journey home to southern Oregon.

Not present, at 11p, I flew past my usual stop on the Grapevine and had to travel another 30 minutes to find a place to stop for the night. It was noisy and I couldn't sleep; I might have drifted off for a couple of hours before getting up at 4a to continue my 9-hour trek home.

With winter conditions warning in effect for the mountain passes and my propane tank empty, I recognized the importance of refueling for potential heating and cooking needs in case of being stranded. Oddly, I stopped at 3 different TA's (truck stop) to fill my tank and none were operational. I was bleary-eyed, confused, and feeling vulnerable when I stopped at my third TA.

Pulling into the third gas station at that TA, I was met by a man who was full of exuberance, good eye contact, and a big smile, offering his assistance - - in all my years of travel, I never talk to people on the road!

He got me, in my vulnerable state, he got me. I was already out of my RV with wallet in hand; I followed him as he pointed to "where the propane fill is." Before I knew it, I was surrounded by 7 men and the truck stop scam was over so fast I didn't know what had happened. They robbed me of $3000. I never carry cash like that but all the money from my last event got stuffed in my wallet as I left in a hurry.

Adrenaline coursing through me, dizzy, shaking, and dry-mouthed, I got in my RV and ran! All cognitive abilities abate when in fight, flight, or freeze mode.

Then the negative self-talk began: I am such a fool! I am so gullible! I put myself, my cat, and my RV in such danger! I could have lost everything! As the adrenaline began to subside, and I could breathe and be present again, old stuff began to surface. Big waves of sadness around innocence violated, and trust abused. So many old frozen pieces of past experiences dislodged for awareness, for the opportunity to be seen, to be felt, and then watched as they dissolved. Then came big waves of self-forgiveness, knowing it could have happened to anyone, and seeing how the power of the mind grabbed me.

As consciousness came back online, I could see the power of the experience, how it was a catalyst for release of some deeeeeep wounds still lurking in my being. Also, a big-bang kind of reminder to never talk to people while traveling alone. It was an expensive lesson. I am blessed to be here to share it.

When the moment of panic releases, take a breath, and then another, and bathe yourself in the gentle waters of self-compassion, embracing every facet of your being with love and acceptance. Realize that nothing has gone wrong and see everything as a tool for your awakening. Forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings, knowing that you are infinitely worthy of love just as you are.

Turn within and meet it all with the gentle gaze of awareness. In the light of presence, thoughts lose their power and transform into opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Meeting them does not mean believing them, only notice and watch with curiosity as thoughts come and go, shift, and dissipate.

Rest in the sanctuary of presence. When we no longer feed, believe, or follow negative self-talk, eventually the program is eradicated, and we are guided back to the sacred temple of the heart.

Embrace the dance of growth and transformation, knowing that every challenge is a steppingstone on the path to self-realization / expansion. Surrender to the divine flow of life; the ever-unfolding mystery of existence controls our evolution, not us.

Awareness and love illuminate and integrates darkness and always leads us home.

You are a beloved child of the universe. You deserve all the love and joy that life has to offer, no matter what has transpired in your past. Allowing the heart to overflow with love not only enriches your own being but also radiates outwards, positively influencing the world around you (including lost souls at TA's).

As you walk the path of self-discovery and awakening, remember the entire universe is constantly conspiring in your favor, guiding you back to the truth of who you are - - a luminous expression of divine love. Trust in the journey, surrender to the process, and know that you are eternally supported on your sacred quest for liberation.

Thank you for your divine expression, and keep shining your light, no matter what.

Much Love and Blessings to You!
shellee rae

"Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening." ~ Lisa M. Hayes